save a horse ride a knight

SPLASH FREE - STYLE FIVE

yesterday was my close friend's birthday! that only means one thing... getting FUCKED at medieval times dinner and tournament

how was that for clickbait... bad? yeah..

i wouldn't lie about my friend's birthday though. for months, me along with 4 others have been planning to go to medieval times dinner and tournament to celebrate. it was a treacherous journey....

first, the birthday girl with two friends left their rural abodes toward my own with about an hour long drive. i met them at the closest 7/11 and we were on our way to our favorite boba shop.

we pulled into the parking lot blasting sherlock by shinee at 11:15AM which was 15 minutes right after they opened. 

^ the two employees having to prepare 5 drinks as soon as they opened

needless to say the boba wasn't nearly done so it meant i'd have to have my honey oolong tea with something else. we got our drinks and headed north to pick up our final friend.

soon after we picked her up, we realized we would have no time to eat lunch on the road in order to make it to the mall in time for our first activity! sadly bringing my burger king coupons was in vain, but it didn't hurt to be prepared. 

then we were on our merry way to go back in time to medieval spain~

once we arrived at our destination the ma- i mean the CASTLE, we had to book it because basically, members of the celtic court went missing and we exposed the bitch who was behind it. but the bitch who was behind it was actually lined up to take the throne ! so he threw me and my friends in prison for our EXECUTION! however, he took a 50 minute break to smoke a cigarette so we jumped on the chance to escape imprisonment.

...funny? we did a medieval themed escape room. first we were separated into our cells where we had to communicate symbols and numbers to each other back and forth in order to open some padlocks. then we were separated again as me and 2 others were trapped in the dungeon, which was pretty kinky if i do say so myself ~ but this was no time to get freaky as we only had 20 minutes left to escape. 

soon enough we narrowly avoided our death and we were on our way to have a noble feast with the king and queen.

VIP, BITCHES! BEST SEATS IN THE HOUSE!

upon picking up our passes, we were greeted by a serf who crowned us in the color of the red knight. we then had our photo taken, which turned out adorable ~ after that, we were left to our own devices until the doors opened, which meant we had about an hour to mess around. 

as such the facility i mean the noble beautiful castle granted us the ability to blow all our money on glowing plastic medieval junk or alcoholic slushy junk. we ended up choosing the latter.  

everybody in the club gettin tipsy

just kidding i don't do any of that

after some very overstimulating standing around, the doors opened to let in VIP guests on the red knight's team. THAT WAS US!!!! we were the first people to enter the arena which meant our seats were on the furthest end from the door. it didn't help that i had to go to the restroom immediately after sitting down!

once all the guests were settled in the arena, we met our server for the evening who was very funny teehee haha and the show began soon after. we got acquainted with the royal cast members as our serf came around to serve us DRAGON'S BLOOD.... 

we got to see some epic horsey tricks which made me question my ethics for a bit, then got served bread and had a falcon fly over our heads 

the knights were so cool!! and kinda hot (⁄ ⁄•⁄ω⁄•⁄ ⁄)⁄

later on we got a BIG JUICY chicken as our main course, with a side of roasted corn and a roasted potato given to us a little bit later. the seasoning was good and did i mention it was BIG and JUICY?

i sucked the corn clean and i don't really like potato. i couldn't finish the chicken either but i enjoyed it while it was there.

as we ate, we watched the joust and cheered as hard as we could for our glistening red knight ~ he ended up awarding the birthday girl as queen of the tournament and she received a red carnation!! how romantic >.<

the best part? OUR KNIGHT WON!!!! DURING DESSERT!!! YEAHHH BUDDY

 the eclairs for dessert were pretty underwhelming, as i'd been craving a good eclair for weeks but this felt like some soggy grocery store crap. i also don't like cream which means i don't really like eclairs but i like the thought of them. this didn't fulfill my thoughts...

but i didn't have to lament for too long since we were VIP and BIRTHDAY PARTYING... we got cake. YELLOW CAKE WITH THE GOOD KIND OF CHOCOLATE FROSTING... AND RAINBOW SPRINKLES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

it was so good....... we all fucked it up.

shortly, the queen of love and beauty was crowned and we were told to get the hell out by our server ╥╥.╥╥

it was SOOOO fun and also the weirdest experience i've ever had (and last month, i went to a warehouse to watch 3 men bang microphones on pinecones, cans, and broken violins..)

i'm glad i got to see my friends again road trips are the BEST! especially with yummy drinks and digital cameras and kpop loud enough to break the earth's sound barrier ~ 

that's all for now..... thanx for reading! here is a video my friend sent me...